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Substitute your Why

it's time to change how we communicate

Why did you do this? Why did you do that? Why did you choose this option? Why did you think that would be a good idea? Why, why why?


When questioned (or interrogated) like this our immediate reaction is to defend, block the questions, stall and buy-time to avoid the scrutiny. To quickly think of a strong response. No.1 aim is to save face and reputation. Whatever you do, don't admit to being wrong and show weakness. Stand firm and defend your why.


Conversations just like this happen daily and in the 1000's. What do they achieve?


Exchanges like this place us within immediate competition - one side instinctively assuming superiority, the other side in uncomfortable defence trying to escape with their reputation intact.


To totally change this situation, substitute 'why' and replace it with 'what' and present it with a curious compassion. "I'm interested, what made you decide on that course of action?" Immediately the two opposing sides become one with the partnership dynamically working together to explore and discover what is real, what is needed and what needs to change. A small shift resulting in a major change #coaching

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